the waiting game


If you are very easily offended, or like to think of me as well mannered, please don’t read this. thanks.

Today, I feel like writing about a topic that is probably well known to many females, a phenomenon I like to call the waiting game. This isn’t really a game, as much as it is a technique. The first time I talked to Craig about this topic, he thought I was crazy. Then he gave me some tips from the males about how to play this game. I am still not very good at it. What is this all about? Using the office restroom. Or school restroom, or any public restroom with multiple stalls. The truth is, and many guys may not be aware of this fact, but most women do not care to do their business (and by this I am not referring to numero uno) while anyone else is around. Many of us would prefer to wait out the day and use our own commodes in the private of our homes. Or, drive home in between class while at school. Yes, I have done that.

But when you truly can’t wait, it can present a bit of a crisis. I told Craig of a day when I made at least 6 trips to the facilities in an hour, each time encountering other occupants, so I washed my hands, returned to my desk and tried again 10 minutes later. Finally I gave up and by the time 5:00 rolled around I was pretty darn uncomfortable. “You should have just gone” he said. “What? With people in there? Are you kidding?” I replied.

This is when he enlightened me on the waiting game. You play like this: You enter the stall with the first round of occupants. You patiently wait until the original group has left, even if new people filter in. You do your business, then wait until the second group has also changed out. Then you leave, anonymous as can be. He assured me this is standard protocol for the guys and works just great.

So last week I decided to try this out. I went in and started to wait out the first group. Little by little, the stalls emptied out. All except for one. But, I was determined, so I continued to wait. And wait. And wait. Silence- complete and absolute silence. Then, it dawned on me- she was waiting ME out too!! What to do? Craig had not given me direction for such a situation. After a few more minutes of very uncomfortable silence I gave in and left.

So I am pretty sure no one is going to comment on this post. But if anyone wants to share some wisdom, feel free. I know what Craig would tell me though: People poop. It’s a fact of life.

Yeah, well, gross.


4 responses »

  1. Correction to the game:You only have to wait out the people that have seen who you are. Then you can still remain anonymous. And being anonymous is really the whole goal. You won’t get embarrassed if nobody will know it was you.

  2. We had the same discussion the other night…First, it’s all about the shoes. People know who’s who by their shoes.Second, after watching Oprah, she had a doctor on and he made everyone very uncomfortable by making them all say, “I Poop.”So yes, everyone poops. I just choose to wait until I can go home and relax.

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