The letter I would have liked to send to Mazda.


Disclaimer: Please do not read this post if you are either Craig or Elizabeth’s grandmother, or it you would otherwise be offended by my somewhat coarse language.

Dear Mazda Corporate:

Congratulations. Three and half years ago we were won over by your flashy ads showing hip, attractive young people (such as ourselves) driving your sleek and stylish Mazda 3. We bought one and ignored the cardinal rule of car buying, which is to never buy a new model the first year it is released. And so begins our sad saga…

At a mere 10,000 miles I took the Mazda 3 (hereafter referred to as POS, i.e.- piece of shit) to your service department letting them know there was a problem with the transmission, and that it banged into gear and lurched while shifting. The head idiot there assured me that I was merely an ignorant woman who knows nothing of the inner workings of my vehicle and that our POS was, in fact, just fine. At 30,000 miles, a lesser idiot changed out burned transmission fluid in our POS and while it is noted as a line item on our service bill, I suppose it was not so important to bear mentioning to the ignorant woman car owner who was still complaining of problems with her transmission. It became crystal clear to me that only humans with a large amount of testosterone pumping through their veins would be treated with even a wee bit of respect at this dealership. Therefore, for any further service I took our POS to mechanics we could trust, at Wal-mart.

Last month, at 50,800 miles, I drove our POS to daycare to pick up our newborn baby son. As we drove home in the frigid winter air, the POS made a horrible noise, lurched, and came out of gear on a very busy road in the midst of rush hour traffic. We narrowly escaped a fiery collision and managed to grind to a stop in an ALDI parking lot where the poor baby and I shivered and waited for a ride home. It quickly became clear that the transmission was completely shot, at a mere 800 miles past the warranty.

Lucky for you Mazda, no? It must be, because when we called your corporate customer care to voice our concerns over the poor service and the crappy transmission in our POS, we were more or less told that you don’t give a rat’s @ss because we are no longer covered by our warranty. And that you can’t help with our dealership problems because that branch is now closed (Could anyone guess why?) Though it took
seven calls to your representative KEITH COTTON before he graced us with his response. In the future, we suggest you outsource your customer service calls to India because when they don’t speak English, it’s hard to know when they are being rude. Unfortunately, the rudeness of your representative KEITH COTTON came across in perfect English.

We then had no choice but to fork over $2700 of our hard earned cash to put a new transmission in our POS, and now we are stuck in a quandary. We would like to unload the POS on some poor unsuspecting sap and upgrade to a KIA. But we have not yet finished paying for this vehicle and alas, must keep driving it whilst holding our breath and hoping it does not fall to pieces in the next few months. Because we do not want our driving this vehicle (as hip, attractive young people) to be seen as an endorsement for Mazda, we have decided to have a body shop emblazon the POS with a giant yellow lemon emblem on the hood, and each door as well as the rear window. Additionally, I am posting a copy of this letter to my widely read and highly esteemed blog where my thousands of loyal readers will hear how horribly we have been treated and will know to steer clear of Mazda for any future car purchases.

It is my sincerest hope that the the Mazda car company goes to way of the Tucker.

Yours truly,


p.s.- You suck.


6 responses »

  1. A family member found it very lucrative when her Mazda was ‘totaled’. Not that anyone wants an accident but the blue book value was very good. Selling/trading it may be worth looking into. Papa N

  2. May I suggest another acronym to replace the ‘POS’, which may be more acceptable to those who know the writer/owner is a PK: ‘MAZDA’…Mechanically Atrocious, Zero Dependability Automobile.

  3. Maybe I should think about sending the letter. It just doesn’t seem very professional…Plus there are a few very slight exaggeration’s (fiery collision…)And Anonymous, aren’t PK’s known for being a bit, well, rebellious?

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