We thought we could survive parenthood without ever having to…


…call poison control. Why on earth did I think that would never happen??

Notice to any moms out there who are dumber than I (do these women exist?), don’t let your 11 month old play with a bottle of body splash. Because not only is there the danger that he will spray himself and smell like a flower, but he also may happen to remove the lid and spray nozzle and down a nice big gulp all while his mother is standing no more than 6 inches away blow-drying her hair. WAY TO GO, Elizabeth.

Thankfully, after stumbling around for awhile and passing out in a drunken stupor, he is just fine. Actually, poison control says- give the kid some apple juice and cheerios to raise his blood sugar, and take a deep breath. If he isn’t acting drunk in the next 30 minutes, he will probably be just fine.

I really hope Devan survives his parents.


4 responses »

  1. Drunken stupor, that’s hilarious!! I vote we post our child poisoning stories here in support of Elizabeth. Here’s mine, when Levi was a little over 1 year old, one July afternoon I let him play in the yard while I unloaded groceries. That’s harmless enough right? Well, not if it is around July 4th. He found and chewed a used smoke bomb. I called Jim in a panic and asked if he thought I should call poison control and he said no, just don’t light any matches around him for awhile. Levi survived and so will Big D.Lori

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