Yesterday, Devan and I were going to see Cars 2- his first ever movie in a theater. We talked it up a couple days before and let his daycare provider know and she talked it up too. He was beyond excited when I picked him up yesterday and I even purchased a little Mater car for him from Target. We dropped off Leah at Karen and Adam’s, and then? I ruined his evening.
I didn’t want to, that’s for sure. I had a raging headache most of the day that by 4:00 was threatening to split my head into two halves. It hurt to think, it hurt to drive with the sun in my eyes, it hurt to hear Devan happily chatter in the back seat. And then, as we dropped off Leah I realized my stomach also hurt, bad. And I felt sweaty, and dizzy, and HOT. Given that it was 200 degrees outside, I thought a quick trip to run home and lay down would do the trick. It didn’t. I called Craig to see if he could possibly get home in time to take Devan instead? He couldn’t. I told myself to suck it up and Devan and I got in the car and drove to the theater. And then? I turned around a block from the theater. There was just no possible way I could make it through that movie.
And it broke my heart.
This is the first time I can remember that I am solely, 100% responsible for my child’s dissapointment. And it felt horrible, it still feels horrible. Or maybe that is my sour stomach, hard to say.
But do you know what? Devan was amazing. He told me it was okay, he didn’t cry, he didn’t throw a fit, he just offered up a few ideas of how we could see the movie later. I made him pancakes, bought him a guilt slushie from Quick Trip, and popped in the original Cars in the dvd player. And then I fell asleep. And I woke to find him cuddling up to me, telling me he hoped I felt better. I love that kid so much.
So today I am attempting to work from home but I think it’s about time to wrap up the important stuff, pop a nyquil and a few pain pills and climb back into bed. When my system shuts down, it shuts down everything and I feel like total crap. Hopefully when I wake up I feel as good as new, and Devan and I can enjoy our postponed date night. But if not? It’s nice to know he understands.