I’ve never been one of those people who craves change. In fact, I’m one of those people who avoids change. I let change come to me, and then I adjust because I have to. I take so much comfort in my routine. For those of you who know me, I’m sure I’m not sharing anything you don’t know.
You also know the past few weeks have been extra tough. It’s been a tough few years, or let’s just go ahead and call it a tough decade. It’s not all bad of course, but I’ve had one health problem or another for most of that time. So there’s that.
Last night Craig put the kids to bed and I laid on the couch, hurting. I tried to pick up a glass of water and the pain shot through my wrists and fingers and I almost dropped it. That’s the sort of pain that scares me. It’s also a blunt reminder, I’m NOT healthy. I can wish it, hope for it, pretend it, but that doesn’t make it reality. Reality is that I need to cut myself some slack, instead of continuing to push myself.
Add all this together and you can perhaps understand why today, I left my job. My dream job. Do you know what it feels like to choose to walk away from your dream job? I can tell you that I cried the whole way home, and I’m not a crier. (Or so I claim, starting to think I might be just a wee bit of a crier.)
This is a big change for me, one I’m not totally certain of. I know there is going to be challenges but I hope there are rewards as well. I know most of you read my blog through Reader but just this once, if you have any encouragement, or stay-at-home mom survival tips, please do share! It’s been less than 12 hours and I’m already thinking “What did I just DO?” (and, “Will I ever buy fabric again??”) This is not what I wanted, but how often in life do we get what we want? We make the best of what we are given, and that is what I’m going to try to do. (Wish me luck.)