Category Archives: Devan

Spent

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Summer is over, whew.  My first two months of staying at home went really great, the last month has been trying.  A friend referred to this stage as the ‘”F”-you Fours’ and that is definitely what we have going on here.  To say I am sick and tired of being treated like crap is an understatement and again, it’s only been a month of this.  And in a few days, we are going to all climb into a car together and spend the next few weeks in very close company.  More parents around does not equal better behavior, just twice as many people to feel royally ticked off. All I want is some relaxation at the beach.  Is it too late to leave the kids here?

I’m not really cut out for this, and I miss my job so much it hurts sometimes.  This is part of the adjustment period, I know, but it’s still tough.  More time at home lately is not more quality time, just more discipline. And by the time Craig gets home I’ve had my fill.  There is NO QUESTION that our family was running smoother when I worked part time, but I am hoping this stage will not last forever.

Devan started his first day of Pre-K today, he won’t say much about it, but I’m sure he is going to love it in time. I’m also hopeful that it will help this “I’m going to test you all day long” situation out a bit.  It’s clear he is bored to death at home, I am at a loss for things we can do together that don’t involve him screaming at Leah that she is ruining things, or not playing “correctly”, or is messing up his projects.  I understand why some kids end up in front of movies all day long but I don’t want to do that.  But sometimes, I do want to do that.

So, that sums up August.  I’m been feeling better, which is such a HUGE blessing and deserves a post all it’s own, so maybe in time.  I’m taking a break from Etsy and quilting, and sewing in general for awhile.  It’s been nice to be lazy and watch movies and read books.  I have a huge list of projects and commissions that are backing up on me and instead of tackling them, I felt it more prudent to set them all aside and do nothing for a month.  I’m sure I will be grateful for this decision come October!

We are going internet-free while on Vacation, so it’s going to be quiet around here for awhile.  Not much of a change from this past month, I know.  And I broke a rule by telling you all we are going to be gone, so don’t any of you dare come steal my fabric!!

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My Devan

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I refused to get up this morning as I stayed up a little too late, after starting and finishing the Hunger Games in one evening.  Refusing to get up is not something one should do when you have small children, but thankfully I have a husband who indulges my pathetic behavior so long as I don’t try to get away with it too often.  So as I groggily laid in bed, I overheard Devan happily tell Craig that he had made himself some cinnamon toast.  He then said he was going to make one for Craig, but he has used up the last piece of bread, so he went ahead and made him one with a hotdog bun.  My heart melted, and I thought about what a sweet boy we have.  I heard Craig thank him profusely and after a few more fruitless tries to get my lazy bum out of bed, he gave up and they all left.  I finally decided Craig was probably right that it was way past time to start the day, and I went down to the kitchen and discovered this:

Oh, it makes my heart melt.  I don’t think it is what either Craig or I pictured when he was describing the cinnamon toast, but it is so perfectly Devan.  I love him so much it is hard to describe.  It’s true that at this age, the kids require a huge commitment to their physical and emotional needs, at times seemingly sucking my life-force right out of me.  But then they fill me right back up again with a sweet gesture, a hug or kiss, or a funny story.  Or cinnamon and globs of butter on a hotdog bun.

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You may notice that in my post categories, I have more ‘insanity’ posts than ones tagged ‘sanity’.  I guess to make sure my blog title is still apt, but honestly it’s just how we roll around here.  After we returned from Branson we were all (minus Craig of course) plagued with nasty colds, and breathing problems, and bloody noses, and etc.  And I ended up taking Devan to the pediatrician Tuesday afternoon and while we were there they requested a urine sample.  And in his sample happened to be a very high amount of glucose. Those of you who are medically-savvy may know that this happens when you have diabetes.  But Devan’s blood sugar levels were normal.  The doctor was clearly puzzled, and we were there for nearly 3 hours, finally sent home with the promise of more answers soon.

It’s Friday afternoon now, and I don’t know much more know than we did then.  We’ve done some google searching but haven’t come up with much.  We are returning tomorrow morning for Devan to give a fasting sample.  Maybe we’ll get some clues or answers, and maybe we will continue to wait.

If you’ve known me any time at all, you know we are no strangers to this dance.  The wall that keeps the information from flowing from doctor to patient.  The nerves that build at 5:15 as you wait for a ‘results’ phone call.  The futility of worry, but the impossibility to do anything but. We’ve been here before. Except for, there’s one small difference that makes this horrible in a way I wouldn’t have expected- it’s not about myself this time, it’s my son.  My Devan.

So, this is where we stand.  Waiting and not knowing.  It could be nothing, or it could be something that changes everything.   Not knowing is always the hardest part.  So we go about our business, but we worry.  And now I suppose I’m having all of you worry with me.  But oftentimes, that is what makes me feel just a little bit better.  So please, join me in my worry.  Devan is a special little guy, and I am ready to know that he is going to be okay.

Aside

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It’s finished!! I’m so in love with it, I’m so very glad I tackled this one.  It has many of my favorite fabrics from many different lines (Loulouthi, Metro Living, Hope Valley are the majority of prints with many, many others.)  I’m thinking I used 20+ prints in the end, but I never really counted.  I wanted a lot of orange and green to match his room, but in the end it is a bit of a rainbow.

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I was so excited to try out my stitch regulator for the circles, and it worked like a charm.  I started in the center and swirled outward.  I used what I believe is a quilt-as-you-go technique, diving the quilt-top into 12 panels, adding batting, and quilting the circles.  I then sewed the 12 panels together, spray basted on the backing and quilted it on with straight lines.  The picture below shows the backing so you can see what I mean.

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I was happy with this method, it made the circles easier to wrangle, and left the back nice and soft.  I continue to have a fear of quilting anything larger than a lap size at home, so I think I will be using this method again in the future.

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Devan is quite happy with his new quilt and has been sleeping with it since Sunday, even though it dwarfs his teeny little toddler bed.  A new bed is coming soon buddy, I promise.  And if you are ever over at our house, I am sure Devan would love to show this off to you in person!

(Original tutorial from Cluck Cluck Sew. )

(Not sure why the pictures are so incredibly fuzzy, will try and fix it this evening!)

Raw Edge Circle Quilt for Devan! (#22)

Almost There

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We had a very nice Christmas. Devan didn’t get the ipad that he asked Santa for, but I let him know I had written Santa to say he was too young for an ipad.  Devan was rather irritated with me, but still believes in Santa. So that’s good.

The Christmas Eve service was beautiful, though Leah wouldn’t know as she was out roaming the hallways with her Grandpa and Uncle.  She LOVED her pretty Christmas dress and shoes- definitely a girly girl.  She even cried when I took off her dress to put on her pjs. I think I’m going to have fun sewing for her this summer!

Devan managed to sleep in until 7 am on Christmas morning. Woo-hoo!!  Kids aren’t known for being the most polite present-openers in the world, so I guess it seems like overall they did fairly good.  Leah is not at the age that she really cares about the opening, she just wanted to play amidst the chaos.  Devan loved his presents. I would share pictures but our camera battery died on Christmas Eve-it has remarkable timing like that.

We all needed an unwinding today and the kids had fun trashing the house and scattering their new toys everywhere. We took advantage of the mild weather and even went for a walk. It felt nice, and so normal. I am officially a walking disaster though, as I took a spill down our wooden stairs today while holding Leah.  She’s fine, I turned my ankle and banged up my back. Because of course I did!

Two more days.

House Rules

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Craig:    Devan, I don’t want you to go running so fast through the house.

Devan:    Why?

Craig:    You trip over lots of stuff, and bang into too many things.  So it’s just going to be a new rule.

Devan:    Well, when I’m older and have a baby, I’m not going to have ANY rules at my house.

Craig:    No rules at all?

Devan:    No.

Craig:    What if your kid wants to knock a plant over and dump dirt all over the floor.  That’ll be ok?

Devan:    Well, they can’t do that.

Craig:    But that’s a rule.

Devan:    Ok, well I’ll just have one rule.  No dumping over poison plants, or plants with dirt in them.  Actually, two.  Three rules.  No knocking over the Christmas tree.  And no taking off ornaments.  Well, 4 rules.  No opening presents before Christmas, or opening presents that aren’t yours.  So just 4 rules.  That’s all.

Craig:    So you’ll have 4 rules, huh?

Devan:    Yes.  Can you remember that for me, so I’ll not forget when I’m old.

Craig:    Sure, I’ll try to remember.

The Bad

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I am taking a break from typing up a gluten free food list to write this post.  Why would I need to that, you might ask?  Because Devan’s pediatrician put him on a trial gluten free diet.  And this weekend it is really hitting me what a huge and horrible thing this is for me at this point and time.  And if one more person tells me it should be just fine because I know what to do, I might scream.  I know everyone means well, but having your child on this diet is NOT THE SAME as doing it as an adult. It’s a big, big deal. It was something I have worried over incessantly since I first found out I was pregnant, and now my worst fears are coming true.

Yes, I want him to be healthy and feel good, but I don’t want him to be a social outcast.  I hate denying him the foods he loves.  And the thought of a lifetime of brown-bag lunches to daycare, church, birthday parties, and school makes me want to cry.  Actually, I have cried.  At the grocery store yesterday, because this is overwhelming.  I’m not sure where to even start with our daycare provider, who didn’t know what gluten was.  And why should she?  We are starting this process all over again, I was comfortable and we had it all figured out and now… Yuck.

Happily, Devan was thrilled to take a special snack to church today in his little Shrek lunch tin.  And then they ended up having fruit snacks, which are gluten free so he was even more thrilled to have two snacks.  If only it was always this easy for him!  I know things will work out in the end and we will all adjust, but life would be so much easier without this stupid diet and sometimes as a mom, I just need things to be easier.  We will be fine eventually, but until then? I’m not fine with it, not one bit.  He’s my little boy and I don’t want him to carry this particular burden. Unfortunately, due to a fantastically gluten-intolerant laden gene pool, I don’t think we have much choice in the matter.

Parenting Fail #3 (more like #3,826)

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Yesterday, Devan and I were going to see Cars 2- his first ever movie in a theater.  We talked it up a couple days before and let his daycare provider know and she talked it up too.  He was beyond excited when I picked him up yesterday and I even purchased a little Mater car for him from Target.  We dropped off Leah at Karen and Adam’s, and then?  I ruined his evening.

I didn’t want to, that’s for sure.  I had a raging headache most of the day that by 4:00 was threatening to split my head into two halves.  It hurt to think, it hurt to drive with the sun in my eyes, it hurt to hear Devan happily chatter in the back seat.  And then, as we dropped off Leah I realized my stomach also hurt, bad.  And I felt sweaty, and dizzy, and HOT.  Given that it was 200 degrees outside, I thought a quick trip to run home and lay down would do the trick.  It didn’t.  I called Craig to see if he could possibly get home in time to take Devan instead? He couldn’t.  I told myself to suck it up and Devan and I got in the car and drove to the theater.  And then? I turned around a block from the theater.  There was just no possible way I could make it through that movie.

And it broke my heart.

This is the first time I can remember that I am solely, 100% responsible for my child’s dissapointment.  And it felt horrible, it still feels horrible.  Or maybe that is my sour stomach, hard to say.

But do you know what?  Devan was amazing.  He told me it was okay, he didn’t cry, he didn’t throw a fit, he just offered up a few ideas of how we could see the movie later.  I made him pancakes, bought him a guilt slushie from Quick Trip, and popped in the original Cars in the dvd player.  And then I fell asleep.  And I woke to find him cuddling up to me, telling me he hoped I felt better.  I love that kid so much.

So today I am attempting to work from home but I think it’s about time to wrap up the important stuff, pop a nyquil and a few pain pills and climb back into bed.  When my system shuts down, it shuts down everything and I feel like total crap.  Hopefully when I wake up I feel as good as new, and Devan and I can enjoy our postponed date night.  But if not? It’s nice to know he understands.